Helps?

It's officially Thursday.

Which means I have approximately... 57 hours until I leave Amarillo.

Which means I have approximately... 46 hours until I go to bed, knowing I will wake up, and leave as early as possible.

Which means I have approximately... 28 hours, tops, of being awake in Amarillo.

28 hours, of which, I will spend at least 7 waiting for something to do...





I can't do this. I'm not strong enough.

I mean, I will do this. I know it's going down. I'm leaving Saturday morning, and nothing can really stop that.

I wish something could though. It really, to be blunt, sucks loving home as much as I do.

I have a ridiculous connection to this place. I don't get tired of it. I get tired of people asking me if I'm ready to be back. I get tired of my mom telling me I'm ready to be back.

I pray to God that I never get tired of being where my family is, where my friends are. This applies to UT. One day, and I'm hoping it happens this semester, I won't want to leave to come home.

I don't know if I talked about this next point previously, but I know I've ranted a lot about it in my head, and maybe out loud some. Being ready to go back to college, requires me to be tired of home. I would have to quit cherishing the moments I had, and just stop caring. I've been home, for periods of time, twice since I started college. Each time, I have been uber excited to see all of my friends. I have hugged, and messed with my sister as though it had been ages. I have excitedly gone to get togethers, because "Oh my gosh I haven't gotten to do this in a while!" even though we hung out and bowled just about a week ago.

The day I stop getting excited to see that friend I've seen four days in a row is the day I start losing myself. Extreme? No. True? Yes.

The day I stop finding a positive thing about each day is the day I can no longer claim to be William Combs.

Even Saturday, when I leave, I'll know that I'm going back to college. I'm going back to learn more about Computer Science. I know I'll get to see Sara, and Leslie, and Enrique, and Summer, and Ramon, and Jaira, and Jacob, and Eric, and Mario, and Bethany, and Zach, Brittny, Ann, Samantha, Lysette, Ozzy, Adam, Melody, and several more people! I'll get to see my brother! I'll get to give Lindsey's gift to Ryan, and my gift to Jacob. I'll see Jessica!

Granted, I won't want to get in the car. I'll probably be in tears before I get out of Amarillo while TomTom shouts out the directions to my other home.

So, where does the blog title "Helps?" come in?

I've prayed about Saturday, a lot, and I know that alone I am not strong enough to make the trip. I know that with the help of God I'll be able to.

So, "how can I help you?" right?

Well, it'll be a lot easier if I have your... best wishes? I think that's what I'm looking to ask for.

Thank you, for everything.


You Never Let Go - Matt Redman

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won't turn back
I know you are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We'll live to know You here on the earth

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You