Moving On

Here in about 2 months I will have graduated. I'll be moving to yet another town. 18 years in Amarillo. 4 years in Austin. And now Houston. I can't begin to speculate on how much time I'll spend there, but I hope that it's a wonderful time regardless.

I'm terrible when it comes to moving on.

You have to say goodbyes.

I mean, you can say "See you later" or something to that effect, but when it comes down to it, and being completely serious, there are goodbyes. The easiest ones are the ones you don't have to say. The ones where you're friends with someone, and you see them in class, and then you don't have class so you don't see them anymore. There's never a moment of, "I probably won't see you again" because you're still going to be on campus so you might.

Then there's the really hard goodbyes. The people you see on a daily basis. The ones you live with. The ones you couldn't live without. You know you're leaving them, and you hope you'll see them again, but you know it'll have to be something you work for.

I hate that. Which isn't a bad thing, just a fact about me. I much prefer not having to move on. I much prefer just continuing existence with the people I know.

Which is where I get in trouble. Because people have lives. People move on. I don't like to.

So I build up these really good relationships. You know, the kind that stop dark lords, and destroy evil rings. Relationships that make life worth it.

Great so far.

These relationships persist for a random period of time.

Still great.

Then things change.

Someone finds a significant other, changes to better fit who they want to be, or whatever else, and I have trouble coping with that.

WHICH IS STUPID.

I should be ecstatic when these things happen. I usually am, I just need to move on. Not leave them behind, but continue with life and move on past the changes. I don't know how I never properly learned this skill. It's something I see people doing often, and yet I have this inability to do so. It's something that I have to focus on and put effort into.

Partially, when faced with these changes, I feel like I'm being left in the dust. Often times in life, I feel like I'm falling, and I latch onto whatever I can to keep me from feeling like I'm just wasting away. Often times, this happens to be friendships. They make me feel whole in a way that I don't normally. And when something happens so that the friend grows up or moves on, I feel like I'm drifting again.

None of the above is good, and it's something that I've been trying to work on.

The main point of this, is that I don't want people to just accept my actions when they've grown and I can't accept it. I want people to understand that I acknowledge that it's an issue, and work with me through it. If that makes sense. No excuses, but it's a problem I've noticed, and need some time to hopefully fix.

And with all of that said, I'm excited for Houston. I'm excited for HP. And I'm excited to watch where everyone I know goes in their lives.

Here's to another page in this crazy adventure. =D