Dreams By William

I was really intent on remembering my dream from last night the moment I woke up, but it's now 3 PM and I've been up for 8 ish hours.

Here's what I recall though.

I'm pretty sure I was following Fury around, and not the cool Fury but Samuel L. Jackson Fury. We were following some dude around, who was really bad apparently. Well, Fury this guy and a few others were squaring off on this cliff. I was down below, and trying to find a way to get up there to help out. I ended up getting up a bit, and as he got closer I went to knock him down, but couldn't or something. This kept him occupied long enough for the other peoples to help out.

At this point it was revealed that he worked for someone really powerful in the city, and that by messing with him we were starting a fight we couldn't understand the size of. Well, Fury being Fury dismissed his warnings and threw him in his car, taking off for Shield headquarters, at least that's what my thoughts are.

I was no longer physically following Fury, but rather watching events unfold within his vehicle as though a spirit or a camera in a movie. Either way, the guy ranted about the power Fury was picking a fight with, and Fury responded with how he was going to bring justice to this guy or whatever Fury says. Well, out of the blue the captive gets shot, and I start looking around wildly.

Was there a sniper? Who killed him? What was the point?

Fury starts looking around too, and about this time both Fury and I realize the scope of what was started. We both realize that this villain has such a hold on the city that any single citizen could be turned against us at his very wish. It is at that time that the two of us in unison turn to look out the passenger window and see a lady, in every manner of the word, pull out a machine gun and go to town on Fury's car.

Cut.

Just like a movie, no?

Well, I think I woke up at that point, and then went back to sleep where I continued the dream.

It was as though time had passed, and I was standing there in the midst of all these super heroes. You could see it on every face in the room that the losses we had faced were greater than we had expected. Heroes around the room were taking off their masks and calling it a loss, saving what little they could before everything was gone.

And I stood up, commanding their attention. I don't know if I had powers or not, strangely enough this dream didn't require me to have powers. Instead I looked around at them, at their pain, at their suffering, and spoke to them.

(Paraphrased because it was a dream, and I don't recall my dream speech from over 8 hours ago. Sorry.)

"Look at you. Look at each other. What do you see? I see grief. I see loss and pain but most importantly I see hope. It's dwindling, but it's there. You're taking off your masks and you're calling it quits, and that's fine, be my guest. Before you do though, ask yourself if that's the right decision. Seriously look inside yourself. I mean, why did you don the mask in the first place? Why did you place yourself in all of those sticky situations in the first place? For some of you it was loss. Some of you found yourselves so lost that you vowed to protect others so they would never experience that. Some of you grieved and pledged to guard others from the very pain you endured. All of you know the pain of letting someone down, and yet you're all still here. So take off your mask and call it a day. Let your enemies claim their biggest victory over you. Not taking your life, but shutting you down. Our enemy is powerful, and claims the lives of many of those closest to us, but if you stop now, if you let him take the fight out of you, if you let him continue to reign over ordinary citizens then what do those deaths stand for? Listen to your heart, listen to the cries for help. Together, we can be the beacon of hope that we have been for many years."

I don't recall anything after that. I only roughly recalled the major themes of the speech. I just thought it a rather cool dream.

I think, I drew my dream from three things I watched this weekend.

Fast Five : Taking on someone who controlled the city.

The Dark Knight Rises : Laying down the mask when faced with unfavorable odds.

D-Gray Man : Anyone could be the villain, regardless of how innocent looking.

I dunno. I liked the dream, and I liked my speech at the end. Now, this version is beefed up in some spots sure, and probably seriously dumbed down in other spots, but still good. I think it can be applied for anyone, and probably should be. XD

Hope you guys get to dream as exciting as I do. =P

Schrödinger's Door

I just told someone the age old saying, "When one door closes, another door opens."

In doing so I started thinking about life, and opportunities and chances. I started thinking about it, as I'm oft to do, and found myself thinking about all the doors that have shut in my life, but realizing all the doors that I've been through and all the doors I currently face.

See, I realize that I've had a ton of opportunities pass me up. I never studied abroad, I didn't travel out of the country, I never had that dazzle that makes you stand out on page from the next guy. I was, and still am, a fairly ordinary guy. As far as computer science goes I'm not a stand out guy. I started programming after I graduated high school basically, and as such have been programming for about 3 years now. Not planning to drop out and start the next big company or anything.

I'm not saying I'm not happy with where I am or what I've done. I feel like while coming from a good home, and smart parents I've still overcome a lot of adversity and had to fight to get where I am. I'm not at UT for free. I had a conversation with my father that went a lot like this, "Dad, I can handle the debt. I know we don't have enough to pay for UT, and I know I don't have the scholarships, but I can make it work. It's the best CS degree I can strive for in Texas, and there are tons of openings for new graduates. I can make it work." Small, I know. Some people have so much more financial burdens than my family and myself, but that doesn't mean I didn't/don't have financial issues. Before the first semester was up, I called my mother and cried my heart out because I was sick of being so far from my family and friends. I basically begged her to not make me continue, to which she said I could transfer schools, that we'd make it work. My response? Still crying I told her that we both knew that was a silly option, that we knew I wouldn't settle for a degree elsewhere, not because it was worse, but because UT's program was so good. I stuck it out, and am absolutely thrilled to be in UT's program. I tell everyone how great it is, because I truly believe that everything about it is worth any amount of struggles I went through to get there.

So William, you're not really connecting back to the title here, are you planning to do that?

Yeah, playing DJ and blogging is hard work for one guy so bear with me. XD

So Schrödinger... You probably know his name because of that darn cat of his. Well, if you aren't acquainted with it the basic idea is as follows:

1. Place a cat in a box.
2. (Maybe time passes, but I'm not sure)
3. Is the cat alive or dead?

See, without actually observing the cat you don't know. Until you open the box and look the cat can be both dead and alive. Interesting idea to comprehend, because you know logically something can't be alive and dead but at the same time you know not which area the cat falls into and as a result it fits both.

Granted, if you bury the box and it isn't dead you'll feel bad. XD

Cat... Life.... Chances... Doors...

Got it?

Ok, let me explain further. See, I was facing the door of going to UT when I was a senior. It was definitely open, but until I stepped through that door it held both infinite possibilities and none. The chance to make a name for myself, to learn a skill that would greatly benefit me in this changing world, to learn so much about life, and at the same time a pile of debt that I'd never escape. Kinda dramatic, yeah, but I mean, the uncertainty that's there is the basic idea.

I know I've missed several opportunities because of this. They could have turned out to be great, but they could have ended terribly. I always overanalyzed, I still do, and as a result would just look at that open door and imagine the other side but never bother to step through because of what it could have held. In fact, in what was almost the worst decision of my life, I almost didn't apply for CSSI. I might have discussed this before, but I don't recall.

I heard abut the program, and basically had everyone and their grandma tell me it would be awesome if I got accepted. I waited though, till the last possible minute to submit the application because I was terrified of losing three weeks with my friends before the college split.

I lost those three weeks with my friends, but I gained so many more, and a ton of opportunities that I couldn't have anticipated.

See, it's alright to let the unknown scare you. In fact, it should. But don't let that control you. See, there's so much waiting for you beyond that door. Trust yourself, trust your gut, and go for it.

Oh, and there's nothing wrong with not being extraordinary. But if it bothers you, make that change.

Sports... Who'da Thunk?

Whoa slow down there killer. What are you trying to say here? After all, you didn't make it secret that you were playing on an intramural soccer team. I mean it's not like you're sitting here trying to tell everyone that you might actually like sports or something. Haha. That would be silly. Haha... Right? Ha.William? You're making me nervous here... Just... Don't tell me you've succumbed to the competitive nature that entails sports, or that you enjoy watching them, because think of all the video games that could be filling your time... Better yet you could be productive instead of caring about sports. Just... William? Willie..? Will? Bi-

And stop right there. I'm cool with variants of William, but Bill is something I'll never be able to accept. Darn! And I just made that post a few weeks ago about me being more accepting. Looks like I'm moving backward in life. Haha.

But yeah, sports. What's that all about, right? Well, I may have recently discovered that I do in fact enjoy sports, JUST LET ME TALK AND STOP FREAKING OUT ON ME OK?

I don't think I ever disliked sports, I mean, I've always known the rules, and I can watch pretty much any sport and know exactly what is going on. I've always know what "good" looks like, and am fully capable of recognizing "great" in a game. There are a few sports that I know nothing about, and I've recently learned that Hockey is one of them, although I know the goals, and can recognize epic things. Haha.

Knowing basics of sports is not means to actually like a sport though, which leads me to my next point. I really enjoy sporting events. I never really enjoyed football, and I still think I don't, but I enjoyed the ability to interact with other people through being near people who are watching some guys throw the ol' pigskin around. For example, this last SuperBowl. I didn't really care much for it, but I enjoyed being with the Emily, Sara, Enrique, and crew to watch it and enjoy Enrique's queso and just chill. That was fun. I think Baltimore won... The Ravens? Right? Haha. =D

I realized in the past few weeks that I really miss going to baseball games. The more I think about it, the more I just loved the stadiums and the whole feeling of being in the crowd. I keep thinking back to the few Rangers games we went to, the one A&M baseball game I went to with Brian and Summer, and the one Round Rock Express game I went to with Cathy, Ann, Ricky, and Ernest. I had so much fun, especially the last two as I remember them best, just yelling with the crowd and joking and what not.

Basketball? Game 6! How crazy close it was!! Yeah, I watched those games. I knew my sister was cheering for the Spurs, but I was just enjoying watching it, not necessarily rooting for either team, but just kind of a bias toward the Spurs for my sister. I also, really enjoyed watching my sister play, or Wehrmeister and his team. I loved shouting them on as friends, and as players. I really like when I have a personality to cheer for and not just a face.

And then there's Soccer. I've been playing Soccer. I really enjoy Soccer. Like, that is the only sport I will actively play. I think that might be why I never was much into sports, because I never actually got a chance to truly play the sport that most intrigued me. I live in Houston for the Summer, and as such, I am making every attempt to attend all the Dynamo games that occur on the weekends and getting the most out of those experiences as possible.

All in all. I think I'm growing up, and the sports thing is minor, but still. Haha. Ok, it's small, and it's not really all the new, but it's cool. Especially because I had a nice conversation with my dad about sports and things the other day. Haha. =D


And now, I'm watching a filibuster. I don't do politics. What is going on? Haha.

I Am Thou... Thou Art I...

Spent my weekend in Austin crashing my super awesome friend*coughMattcough*'s weekend. =D

Decided to road trip with one of my roommates to Austin because he wanted to visit his friend from high school who goes to UT, and I needed to pick up The Last of Us, which I had pre-ordered. So, at the core of things, I sat in a car for 6ish hours this weekend just so I could get a video game. (I promise I'm not obsessed or anything with video games.)

Speaking of which, I pre-ordered a PS4, and nicely enough got upgraded from a standard to a launch edition on Amazon, which means I will get mine pretty much on launch day. Which is super awesome, and I'm really super duper excited. Also, Kingdom Hearts HD 1.5 Remix is already pre-ordered as well, and I can't wait to relive the magic. (Expect a post where I tell you all just how much I love Kingdom Hearts again. It'll be like, the 4th one I think. Haha.)

So, back to my weekend. Got dropped of by my roommate, and met up with Matt, who quickly gave me his key so I could get into his place, as he already had plans, and I told him not to let me interfere and that I was capable of entertaining myself with my Vita.

Speaking of which, I started Persona 4 Golden, and I forgot how much I missed the series. If you're quick, and know of the series, then you caught the reference when you read the title. One of my favorite things about Persona 4 is how everyone has to come to terms with a part of them that they try to hide from everyone, and even deny to themselves. It's something that sort of hits home, especially since I've come to terms with a lot of my inner things that I denied for a long time.

I feel like that's something that a lot of people do as they grow up. I know I hid a lot of things from a lot of people, including myself, and over the years it didn't disappear but rather grew until it became this really dark thing that I found myself fighting with constantly, much in the same way things happen in Persona 4, except mine didn't turn into a crazy shadow that tried to kill me, and upon accepting it I received an awesome Persona I could use to fight the shadows. Haha.

Basically though, everyone has something about them they run from. Everyone has a dark side that they try to cover up, that they deny, that they push back until it consumes them. Some people manage to get through it. Some people have their faith that allows them to accept it, and grow from it. Some people have friends who they lean on and who in turn see their dark side, and accept it, giving the person the strength to accept it as well. And yet, sadly enough, there are so many people out there who have nothing to help them through it. There are people who struggle, and yet never receive the helping hand they are looking for.

At this point, I think the only thing I can say is that it definitely gets better. I mean, I ran from a lot. All it takes, is the courage to look at yourself, and say that that is you, but you're so much more than that. Once you do that, you'll feel that weight lifted. Not saying this is going to magically solve any and all problems, although I wish it would, but that it will definitely help this one. If you can't find the strength in yourself, then don't just give in to it. It's perfectly acceptable to not be able to overcome something on your own. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that.

My first suggestion would be to pray. I know that with prayer and through listening to God, however crazy that may seem to some of you, you'll be able to overcome anything that is thrown your way. My next suggestion would be to talk to someone. This is scary, I know, and as someone who tries not to talk to people about my problems I have struggled with asking people for help. I did though, on several occasions, and it has definitely paid off in the end. I understand it'll be weird, and you won't know where to start, but find that person who listens, if you have someone, online friends count, you don't have to see them in person, just someone you trust.

I hope that if any of you reading this don't know anyone that you could talk to realize that I will always be willing to help out any way possible. Even if it's just letting you vent, and me being there to listen/read. I'm good at that. I promise.

Back to my weekend. XD

Hung out for a bit and got food with Matt before we called it a night after watching a LOL match. After we woke up we met up with Ernest, and the three of us played some N64 games for a bit. We played vs on Star Fox 64, and then Smash Bros. Good classics. After everyone got bored, we ran to food at Noodles and Company, before bowling at the Union. Let us not discuss how bad of a bowler I am. XD

When we got done with that we split up, and Matt and I went back to his place. He had me start playing Catherine, while he did some homework. Back when Catherine came out I didn't really hear much about it, but I quickly wrote it off as a video game I'd probably never play. Well, Matt talked it up, and I ended up playing it. After a while, Matt's roommate Jimbo showed up. I continued playing, and Matt and Jimbo watched a lot of me playing Catherine. A lot of Matt making fun of my puzzle skills ensued.

Well, after 6ish hours of playing Catherine, the three of us ended up going to Kerbey Lane, where we just ate and discussed life and things. On the way we got asked, "Did you guys order the Domino?" Not Dominos, just Domino. We enjoyed that quite a bit. Afterward we chilled some more and I did some more Catherine. More antagonistic remarks from Matthew. Haha. We all ended up going to bed eventually.

In the morning, I got in another hour of Catherine before I had to leave, saving at exactly 8 hours of gameplay. Drove back to Houston with my roommate, and had some more super awesome bonding time. When we got back we met up with our other roommate and the three of us went swimming. These 2 kids latched onto us, and we ended up serving as their basketball goals while they played pig against each other. Eventually, I became the goal of choice, and served as such until the kids had to leave.

After that, I finally got to play The Last of Us.

Speaking of which, if you have the chance to play it play it. I fell in love at the beginning, and am sold. Had to fight back tears in the first like... 10 minutes. Crazy stuff going down! I need to play more, but my plan is as follows:
Get in 1 match of League a night. Preferably with Cody, but if not then Ranked.
Play The Last of Us for an hour a night.
Play Persona 4 for an hour a night.
Play Tomb Raider for an hour a night.
Basically spend my nights gaming, but in such a way that I can make time for hanging out with roommates and eat in between sessions. Also, I'm not sticking to that schedule rigidly, I'm free to switch things up whenever I so please. XD


List of Games I am in the middle of and need to finish before the PS4 comes into existence (And hopefully much sooner. I will be updating the list as time goes on, removing and adding games as needed.):
Tomb Raider
Persona 4: Golden
Catherine
The Last of Us
Ni No Kuni
(Not necessarily in that order...)

I'm a Fanboy and I'm Proud

So, I really wanted to post yesterday, but that was too soon, and I just overwhelmed you with my re-introduction so it wouldn't have been right to overwhelm you with me freaking out about video games.

Well, I plan to have some more introspective posts, but this one, right now, will be a lot more fun than that.

Yesterday, June 10th, 2013, I was overcome with excitement. Microsoft had had they're E3 conference, and despite having really exciting looking games to show, they caused a lot of discussion due to business decisions and prices and such.

Coming out of work knowing all of this, I was super anxious for the Sony Conference. It could have been very bad, and I was hoping it didn't go south.

Well, I got myself situated on my bed, laptop out, livestream up, waiting for the conference. I'd seen some leaked trailers of games before hand, and was excited with the trailers Microsoft had shown that were cross platform.

The conference started late, and they played a really awesome intro, and I immediately was overwhelmed with the whole event. Right there I knew why I was a fan of Sony and Playstation.

I eagerly posted on Tumblr my reactions to every little trailer and thing they announced, all leading up to when I would explode with excitement.

You see, if you don't keep up with video games, Sony gave Square Enix some time, and they announced Kingdom Hearts 3.

One simple game. A simple 2-3 minute teaser of a game that is "In Development." That's when my world imploded with excitement.

My Tumblr blew up, I blew up my Facebook, and I frantically texted anyone I knew would listen.

"KINGDOM HEARTS 3 IS HAPPENING GUYS!!"

I made a post a while back, about how much I loved Kingdom Hearts, but I don't think I portrayed that properly. You see, Kingdom Hearts probably had some of the biggest influences on my character development. People know me as being a Blue, and I'll give you that my wanting to serve others was something I picked up in church as a kid, but it also comes from Kingdom Hearts.

I grew up with a variety of video games, and almost all of them had a hero of sorts who went out of they're way to save people. I know my brother was super attached to Sonic as a kid. For me it was Sora.

Something about him drew me in, and I will forever be drawn in. He starts the game off, as this goofy kid just playing on an island with his friends, wondering what's out beyond the ocean. All of a sudden his world is devoured in darkness, and he is given the key to saving all worlds. That's not something you take lightly. And he doesn't! He struggles with it, and just wants to find his friends. He runs from planet to planet, and every single time he looks for his friends. He never gives up hope, even when all seems lost. His best friend steals his Keyblade, and as a result his two companions Donald and Goofy, leaving him completely alone, and yet he doesn't stop. He fights on for his friends.

Like, this kid is the epitome of all things I strive to be. He is nothing but loyal to his friends, and fights for the good of people he has barely met. He's kind hearted, always encouraging others. He's selfless. And he's growing up. The games have done a great job of showing that. He's learning, and evolving. But he's still optimistic and kind. Which is what gets me the most.

Now, I'm not the number one Kingdom Hearts fan out there. I've not played all the games. I couldn't recount to you all the stories and Keyblades, and I forget things. One thing is for sure though, and that is that Sora's attitude, his persona, is the very thing that I continually strive to be like. If I come within a stone's throw of Sora's character I'm ecstatic.

So, with that in mind, it's easier to understand why I flipped out about this next installment in the series. I'm honestly just excited to see how his character grows, and how he develops through the struggles he faces in this game.

And, because I'm so excited about this video game, I'm going to reiterate a point I brought up a long time ago. Video Games are an art form, in the same way that a book is an art form. Video Games are capable of compelling storylines in the same way a book is. Video Games can create worlds and characters that we fall in love with just as a book can.

I don't want someone to think I'm ragging on books though and think that games should replace them, I don't. I just want to make sure you all understand how much video games mean to me, and how much I've grown and learned from them. These days it's common to see news reports about the following:

"Video Games, are they poisoning out youth?"
"Alleged shooter known to play WOW"
"Could video games be behind the murders in..."

Which I find absolutely bogus. It's sort of, as I learned in my English class this last semester, the same argument some people had with Shakespeare. He  didn't make his plays follow the Three Unities, time, place, and action. See he made plays that took more time in the play, than it took to present the play. When critiqued, however, one critic said that the audience was smart enough to know that what they were watching was fake, but were willing to suspend that knowledge to believe the play.

Same thing here, none of them play a game and think it's dandy to actually carry that over.

I digressed... I just wanted to talk about how a good video game should not be written off as not being literary. I just think it's new, and people don't quite understand that it takes a good story to draw in so many players, and get them hooked on the characters to the point where people literally thrive off of that character. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle created the character of Sherlock who has survived the ages, and people today thrive off of that character.

I thrive off of Sora.

I'm not really in the Harry Potter fandom. Never having read the books hurt me in that are. I'm not ashamed of it though. A lot of people needed Harry Potter, and he was right in their lives.

I needed Sora, and he was right in my life. He is still right in my life.

And now he's coming back. And I can't tell you how excited I am to hear this, because there isn't enough space in the world to properly display that.

Now, go listen to some Kingdom Hearts music. Like Dearly Beloved. You'll fall in love, just like I did. =D

An Introduction... Again!

So I've been traveling Texas visiting people, and doing stuff the last few months, and as a result have spent many hours in a car, by myself, listening to whatever music was coming from my car or phone and my thought. It may come as a shocker to you, but I think a lot when there's not other things for me to focus on.

Well, I keep telling myself to start this up again but by the time I park my car and get settled in whichever place I'm staying I completely forget the mind blowing thoughts I was having minutes earlier on the road. Mostly it's due to the excitement of not being in a car. =P

When I signed on here, for the first time in like... EVER!! I realized that the last 4 attempted posts are all posts where I was trying to do introspection of sorts. Which makes sense, because I've been changing a lot over the past year or so, and have a lot that I need to explain about where I am now, before I can start talking about all the thoughts I've been having, because I am not the same person who started this blog.

With that being said, I feel like I've grown fairly well, and am quite happy with where I am. I still struggle with certain changes, and wish I could rewind to where I was, but life is funny that way, in'it?

Ok, so, here goes. This might be really bad, because I'm quite terrible with talking about myself, and I never remember that until I have to do it, like now... Bear with me.

I'm older, obviously. Silly time thing. I'm way less naive, but can't shake the positive views of people and such. I'm a lot more understanding when it comes to different views. If anything, I think that's the biggest and best change about me.

I love my family, and my home, and everything I grew up with, but never really understood just how narrow minded I had become until recently. You see, I'm turning twenty-one next month. (Legal drinking woo! That's supposed to be my reaction, right?) As such, most of my friends turned twenty-one over the past year or so. Well, if this were the same day last year the following situation would probably occur:

Person A: William what would you do if we started drinking?

Me: Stop hanging out with you.
Person B: You'd stop hanging out with us if we drank?

Me: The moment you guys started drinking I would up and leave.

Person A: Why would you leave?

Me: Because I like you guys. The idea of being around you when you're drunk, and not you, doesn't really suit my fancy.

Person C: Well, would you hang out with us afterward?

Me: I would hang out with you once you'd sobered up, probably. I wouldn't want to talk about you drinking though, because I'd probably just up and leave then too.

Person D: Wow, you seem like a jerk. Ok, what would you do if a friend was drunk and called you for a ride?

Me: I wouldn't give them a ride...

Persons All: What?

Me: That's wrong. I would give them a ride, because calling would be smart. I wouldn't want to hang around and make sure they were ok and such, because that would really hurt my view of them.

Person A: Wow. That's a really childish reaction.

Me: Well, I'm old enough to choose my company, and I don't want to be around people who drink. Hasn't really been a problem yet, so I don't see why it should now.

Now, reading over that, I see soo many flaws in my reactions, but at the same time, I see soo many flaws in the persons having that conversation with me.

In the past year I have been to several birthday parties, and even just hung out with people who were drinking. WHAT?! What changed William?

Well, as I mentioned earlier, I realized how close minded I had become. I realized that I had become the very thing I never wanted to become.

QUICK CLARIFICATION!

I am still not twenty-one. I have still yet to partake of a beverage that contained alcohol in it. Have I had chances? Oh yeah I have. Have I been offered? Oh yeah I have. Have I had my parents offer at my brother's wedding/other situations? Yeah, definitely.

The thing is, that while I have grown up in my views on alcohol, and a lot of other things, I still hold myself to a sort of standard. This being said, I don't plan on never drinking. In fact, I already have at least one drink lined up for me after I turn twenty-one. The thing is though, that I want to make it to that twenty-one year mark without having drank.

See, people tend to get caught up in this idea of "Firsts" and them being a coming of age thing. That doesn't really get me. I don't need a "First" to live life, I just need the right attitude.

So, I've become less close minded over the last year, which is awesome, and I love it.

I've also become more confident in me. I don't doubt my decisions so much, and I know how to do things for me. I'm still a blue, and 10 times more likely to do stuff for others than for myself, but I know how to help me, which is a big improvement.

And I'm going to wrap this up with one more, so I can head to bed and go to work in the morning. XD

I'm much happier now than I was for the last year or so. I went through some really tough times, to the point where the people closest to me were constantly noticing that I was in a really down mood. I retreated into myself a lot, and shut a lot of people out in the process. Where I am now, I feel like I'm past a lot of that. I prayed a lot, and placed it in God's hands and things managed to smooth out in my life.

In fact, a little over a week ago I was rejected from UT's 5-year Master's program. I have been hoping for this program since I started college, and was devastated to hear that I didn't get in. However, I pushed on, looked on the bright side, and am now more excited for my future than before. I don't expect things to stay on this high road, and I hope to be able to confide in all of you next time I hit a low road. Until then though, I hope to share some good thoughts on a lot of things, and maybe even just fun thoughts.

Here's to a new chapter in this journey of life. =D

The Light

Shiro woke up as the limo pulled up to Bastion's house. "Here it is, home at last."

The house wasn't as big as some of the ones they passed on the way, but it was bigger than any from Shiro's home. It was round too, which surprised him. The ground floor had glass all around the outer rim, so you could look straight through it at the lake on the other side. The sun was just rising, and its reflection on the lake was breathtaking. The first floor was mainly decoration, a sitting room, a kitchen, a dinning room, and a game room were among the bigger rooms, all of which surrounded a set of stairs. An elegant staircase in the center of the house led up, with a smaller set of stairs on either side leading down.

"Dad built this place from scratch. Not by himself though," He reassured when he saw Shiro's face. "he had a lot of help. Your mom even had a say in some of this." Bastian exited the car first, stretching from their long ride, and held his hand out for Shiro. "Come on, you've got a lot of exploring to do." Shiro admired the house, and Bastian stepped up to the front of the limo. "Danke mein Freund." He nodded to the driver and turned back to Shiro.

"I'll bet you she wanted the glass to circle the first floor." He said as they approached the front door. "She always did say she loved the way the sunlight looked when it passed through glass." He continued walking before turning around to face Bastian who had stopped in his tracks.

"Has anyone told you you're good?" He marveled. "With your brain we'll figure your mother's riddle out in no time!"

"Oh can we work on that now!?" Shiro beamed.

"That can wait. For now, we have to explore your new home." He threw the door open and Shiro was silenced by the sight. The light coming through the glass danced in intricate patterns on the floor and he knew his mother had waited his whole life for him to see this. He could feel her aura in the room, and immediately collapsed in the doorway.

"Shiro!" Bastion threw himself to the floor catching Shiro in the process. "What was that!?" He spat out when he noticed Shiro was smiling.

"Sorry, I could just feel my mom's presence. She had more of an impact on this house than you think." He noticed Bastion's grip around him loosen."Did I scare you?"

"Well yeah, you collapsed. I thought you had fainted and the ground isn't exactly made of pillows." Shiro started laughing. "What? Shiro what's so funny? Did you plan this?"

 Shiro scrambled to get up, "No," he said between laughs. "Let's get to exploring!" He extended his arm out to Bastion, who took it, and pulled him up. "Where do we start?" He eagerly asked, looking at the entire floor before him.

"You can pick. Do you want to see what you can see from here, where you'll be sleeping, or where the cool stuff is?"

That last bit caught Shiro's attention. "When you say 'cool stuff' it must be really cool because this right here is cool." Bastion smiled and lead him into the house toward the staircase.

Stepping into the house, Shiro, once again, felt the presence of his mother. He didn't expect to ever feel his mother's presence again after he left to get aboard the Alexandria and yet here, twice in one day, he felt her, which made him weak. Bastion caught sight of him and cautiously watched in case of a second collapse. It was as though his mother had created the light's patterns on the floor. He'd seen these patterns before though. In his bedroom back home. His mother insisted on installing the window herself, and would have killed anyone who broke it. It wasn't a big window, but it still illuminated the room brilliantly when the sun was at the right angle.

"You know, she built this glass." Shiro looked away from the floor and up to Bastion. "It's fabulous glass. No other glass makes a pattern quite like hers, and it's durable too!" He walked over to the wall and knocked on lightly. "These bad boys have been through a lot and yet they're still here."

"It did always strike me as invulnerable." Shiro stroked the glass.


"Shiro hurry! You don't have a lot of time to make the ship!" Margaret opened Shiro's door and found him reaching up to the glass window, just above his bed. Her looks hid her age. She had long brown hair that curled around her and flowed over her shoulders, accenting the brown of her eyes. She wore a tattered shirt and ragged jeans, the typical outfit of a laborer in the city, but still managed to shine. "It's just glass Shiro. You really need to get going." Her voice quivered and Shiro spun around.

"Mom," he looked down catching the look in her eyes and decided not to bring anymore attention to it than was necessary, "I'll make it. You know I will." She smiled up at him, and pulled him in for a hug.

Neither of them spoke after that. Neither of them needed to. They both knew this was goodbye, and they both knew it had to be done. Shiro gathered the few things he could manage, smiled at his mother, nodding goodbye, and left. Margaret went to the window, watching her son walk toward his destiny. As soon as he was out of sight she collapsed on the living room floor, and succumbed to the tears that had been fighting to get free.


Shiro tried comprehending what his mother's life was like before she left. "How much can you tell me about my mother?" He questioned Bastion.

"I can tell you loads." He stated. "That, however, would take ages, and right now I need to show you the house, and give you a basic run down of the way things work here in the capitol." He spun away from Shiro and started toward the stairs. "Follow me, then. You'll love what's underground."

Shiro watched him for a moment as Bastion walked away, entraced by the house, the atmosphere, and, he admitted to himself, Bastion himself. He shook his head, and ran after Bastion, "I can't wait!"

The two smiled at each other and made their way down the staircase.