So I Found "Perspective"

I've spent a lot of my life worrying about how I come across to other people.

Having an older brother, I always worried that I was the annoying younger brother who ruined all my brother's "street cred"(1) by wanting to join in on video games and card games. In high school, I spent a lot of time worried that I was going to be the annoying underclassman trying to be friends with the Juniors and Seniors. In classes I spend a lot of time worried that I'll come across as THAT student that gets on the teachers nerves, as well as that of my fellow classmates. With my friends, I constantly worry that I'm not involved enough, or too vocal, or too quiet, or just not what they thought I was.

The most enlightening moment of my life though, was when I realized that none of that mattered.

Sure, I still care about how I come across to people, and I strive to come across in a way that isn't bothersome, but there isn't this overwhelming force in my life where I'm constantly worrying about what people think of me.

Strangely enough, this came with a sudden sense of realization that I am ridiculously(2) good looking.

Hear me out here, because I'm not vying for a spot on the list of 100 Most Handsome Men or whatever. What I mean is that once I acknowledged that I don't have to worry about how I come across to every single person constantly, I realized that I can love me for me. And if we're being honest here, I think I look fairly attractive. I don't expect every person I meet to think so though, and that doesn't bother me.

AND THEY DON'T HAVE TO!

Which is probably one of the most refreshing things in the world to realize. I like me, a lot. I'm weird, and quirky, and like video games way too much, and will completely fawn over actors based on their mastery of facial expressions(3), and get too excited when I find someone with any sort of talent, and gush over the cheesiness of shows/games. I can watch the same show over and over and over and always manage to tear up, even though I know in the end the hero wins. And I am a sucker for anything Strawberry. I will flat out go Coocoo for Strawberries(4).

This, and so much more, is all me. I love every bit of it. The beautiful thing too, is that if I don't something I can change it. It might be hard but I can. And the even more beautiful thing, is that it's all independent of what other people think of me. I can't control that, and I'm no longer trying to(5).

So, here I am. Four months from graduating, starting full time at HP, and I'm loving every minute of it. =D

1 I'm not entirely sure nerds have street cred, but that's what I'm calling it. XD
2 Ridiculously here is used jokingly, and more so implies a sense of self confidence.
3 This is 100% true, and can also be applied to people who aren't famous. I just really enjoy when someone has good facial expressions. =P
4 So much so that it has to be capitalized. Yeah, obsessed!
5 I don't think I've been letting it control me for a while, but I wanted to make it clear.