Cloud Nine and Rock Bottom

This weekend I was in Amarillo for one of my best friends' wedding. I was on top of the world.

Real quick note:
The friend was Chris, and I admire this guy like no other. He's kind and pure and every bit the person I continually strive to be. He married Katie. She's wonderful, and if there was anyone who was perfect for Chris it is her.

While I was in town I also got to catch up with several old friends, and I got to make some new ones. That was wonderful, because some of the friends I hadn't seen since graduation.

I was on cloud nine.



Today I received a phone call from my father. My grandmother passed away last night.

Crying is nice, because you let all the emotions out. Crying drains you, but when it's all out, there's this strangely nice feeling left. After you've cried, curled up in a ball on your bed, you slowly unroll as your body starts to send signals, such as, "I'm hungry.", "I'm cramping, this is uncomfortable.", "I need to go to the bathroom." and many more messages signaling a physical need for something. While unrolling, you look around you and start to take note of all the things around you, things that you had previously not thought about. This is where that strangely nice feeling comes into play.

There's still life in you. There's still the ability to go out and do something. Whatever it was that made you cry doesn't mean less, and it sure doesn't hurt less, but all of a sudden there's this realization that life has a way of moving on.

Crying is nice.

Being incapable of crying is not.

That's been me today. Everything has felt slow, I've felt sluggish, and all the while there's this weight that I can't find the words to describe. I feel terrible, because I was out of it all day at work, and I tried to do things here and there, but I could feel myself out of it. It's a Combs' curse to feel the need to stay strong when we should seek the help of others, and I couldn't bring myself to tell my team. They would have helped, I know they would have, but I couldn't do it.

The end result is the same though. There's this bittersweet realization to it. The old Rose and Thorn saying.

So, with that, I'm leaving this rather short.

I hope you all find something that keeps you looking up when things go south. Thank you God for giving me the strength to move through all the obstacles in front of me, and I pray you give the same strength to everyone who has ever felt as though they were rock bottom.