Well, by posting that last one I got interested in seeing my old posts. I kinda like my old posts, I kinda like my old me. Not that I don't like new me. It's just that new me isn't old me. Well that was redundant.
Let me try that again, there's this thing I've always done where I keep track of things I've written or done in the past (e-mails, notes, blogs, videos, etc...) and then randomly I'll go back and look at it. It's really fun seeing how far I've come, and how much I've change, and exactly how much I'm still the same as I was when I started this thing.
One big difference I noticed is that I was really thought provoking at times in my old blog posts. I picked ten or so at random and read through them and the majority of the time I was talking about something that I could learn from or that anyone could benefit from really. It was interesting, and I had many cool references (to Doctor Who usually.)
Recently any thought provoking thoughts I've had I've kept to myself, which I don't like doing because me and thought provoking thoughts result in hours of lying in bed thinking about said thoughts and just getting bogged down in whatever rabbit hole of thought I find myself thinking through.
And with that being said, today's thought provoking thought, and sorta yesterdays. As a kid I sorta instilled in myself what I believed to be absolute truths and this strange set of rules that I won't let myself break. As I grew up, I came to the conclusion that God made no mistakes in creating me, and as such said beliefs were law. This is me, and don't think I'm saying they should be, and I'm not saying I'm without fault, just that I don't doubt the things I came to believe as a kid.
Among these things are my belief in God, my belief in people, my love for others, my desire to put others before me, my disdain for drugs, my disdain for smoking, and my disdain for alcohol. A lot that I could talk about, but only really one that is on my mind at the moment, and that's the alcohol thing.
I'm not against alcohol as a thing, I'm not against people drinking it. Happens all the time, and I have no problem being around people who are drinking (with moderation). I'm mainly around that when I end up at the cousins for Christmas and the adults all grab a beer of sorts, or at the brother's wedding, or when the father is cooking and does the typical beer in front of the grill thing. I'm ok with all of that, don't like the smell, but it doesn't bother me.
What bothers me is this whole idea of getting drunk. I've had too many conversations with friends, and acquaintances about drinking and why I shouldn't be bothered by it. I know I shouldn't, I shouldn't let other people's decisions mess with me, but I can't help it. I have no basis for despising it, never had any actual interactions with a drunk person (except maybe his dad, but I'll never be sure on that one).
You see, I'm in college, so the topic pops up. Not often, but you can't really go far without it. I managed to find myself a set of people who I value more than words can describe, and this topic comes up even less, but it still does. On the rare occasion there is always someone who says "We should get (insert name here)
This conversation I can't stand, which gets me in a lot of arguments with people. I've never once ended an argument about this on a good note, and I'm betting I'll ruffle a few feathers here too, but that's what I do. I despise the thought of interacting with drunk people, regardless of who they are. There is nothing in that that sounds even remotely appealing to me. Which is followed up usually with, "What if your friend was drunk and needed a ride?" I would probably go and pick them up, and take them to their home, and hate every minute of it. Not even gonna lie, that isn't how I would prefer to spend time with a friend. Would I stay there and make sure they were alright, I have no idea. I can't even begin to imagine myself in that situation. I would love to say yes, but I don't know for sure.
And all this drinking makes it easier to have fun stuff is crap as far as I'm concerned. I have had so much fun just making stupid jokes about love being a battleground and playing board games and just having a quaint dinner and talking with one another. One drink, sure, fine, but getting drunk to get drunk, getting drunk to party doesn't make any situation more fun. It makes you stupider, and no longer yourself. At that, my friends, is the point where you're not the person I befriended, which I why I don't know how'd I react to my friends really getting drunk. I'd probably cry, and do my best to take care of them, because I'm the type of guy who cares too much about everyone else. I'd deal with my own pains, and force my judgmental nature down because the person I chose to befriend, that person who I gave a place in my heart, is still there somewhere, underneath the drunken mess.
Maybe you like the taste, maybe it's not a bad taste, and maybe you drink only occasionally, or you just have one after work, or you go a little over board on accident at a wedding. Maybe I'm broken and won't ever comprehend drinking, maybe I'll never change my views on it. It won't ruin my friendships though. shouldn't anyway, as long as we're still on great ground in our friendship.
I sound like a jerk right now, and so judgmental, and not like a blue at all. I never claimed to be a hundred percent blue, and maybe that's something that more people need to learn about me.
Basically, if you want, I have no power to stop you. Can you rely on me to be mister designated driver? As long as I don't have to be where ever you are while you're getting drunk. Will I hang out with you while you're drunk? Nope, I care to much about who you really are to let that picture of you get damaged. Will I take care of you if you're drunk and in need of help? Very likely, wouldn't know how to, and wouldn't enjoy it, but I'm not going to close the door on a friend in need.
Will I judge you if you drink? Yup. Will I hate myself for judging you if you drink? Yeah, severely.
That's the end of my rant, I think I've gone on long enough. Sorry, I know you won't all enjoy this, but it's true, and it's me, and that's what this blog is for.
Ummm... What do you call a place that sells clearance foods?
Sellmonella! =P
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